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Yarn and the Apocalypse

Okay, so an arctic blast is not the apocalypse (and yes, I know there are some among us who prefer the ALPACA-lypse instead). When I lived in Wilkes-Barre, we actually dealt with artic blasts as lot more often than you'd think, and that meant making sure cupboards under the sink were open, faucets were set to drip to prevent pipe freeze, and you kept the blinds drawn to keep the warm air in.

I'll be honest, I rather enjoyed hunkering down under the covers in my warmest clothes with the dog and cat to keep me company while I read or knit (or read AND knit, depending on what I was working on). It was like being in one's own secret little world, and it was, in many ways, glorious until little dog decided she needed to potty and seemed to think it was fun to stand on the sidewalk and categorically refuse to go while I froze my face off. (Although when the wind kicked up she also had a habit of taking a step outside and then turning around and deciding to go back in because she changed her mind and would then refuse to venture outside again for such a long time that I was sure she would explode. She was a very strong willed little critter.)

But all the doom and gloom and fear-mongering we seem to be getting regarding the winter weather system headed our way has naturally turned my mind to the zombie apocalypse and how awesome it is that we have skills to exist in a post-apocalyptic world. (When you teach Modernism for twenty years, you read a lot of pre-, post-, and plain old apocalyptic literature, so you and your fellow Modernist friends may or may not brainstorm various scenarios about the skills one would need to survive in the event of the apocalypse. To be fair, though, an ALPACA-lypse would be a whole lot easier to survive because HELLO, you can totally sheer the alpaca for fleece, so you'd be warm and have clothing FOREVER.)

So, reasons why it's good to be a fiber lover in the event of an apocalypse (or, yes, even an ALPACA-lypse):

  1. You know how to make clothing and accessories for warmth.

  2. You have ready-access to fiber for insulation, which can protect in both extreme heat and extreme cold.

  3. Wool is naturally flame resistant.

  4. You can make useful tools like ropes, hammocks, bags, fishing nets, slings...

  5. You can use yarn to tie things together like boards for making a raft or logs for housing.

  6. When there's no tv, you won't get bored because you have something to do.

  7. No one is going to vote the person who can literally clothe them off the island.

  8. Your pets survived? You can make leashes and collars, and even in the face of a dystopian reality, why can't your pet be competely stylish and cute wearing a fun snood? Just because it's the apocalypse doesn't mean you have to be humorlous, after all.

  9. Need to entertain people? You can make finger puppets and amigurumi stuffies.

  10. Have leftovers? If there are any birds still around, you can let them have your yarn and fiber scraps for nests.

  11. Let's say the earth isn't completely scorched and unusable and somewhere you find seeds. Yarn is great for tying up those tomato and bean vines.

I bet if you really thought about it, there's a whole lot more you could totally contribute in a post-apocalyptic world just because you know fiber.

So, stay safe this weekend, have a happy holiday if you celebrate, and remember, being a fiber lover makes you valuable!

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